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Additional Double Benefits |
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| Name : |
Kate Beeders |
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Chestnut Hill |
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Massachusetts |
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| Country : |
United States |
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| Article Reviews: 0 Reviews |
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Recently, I worked with a young man in his early 20’s who had just started a new job. Peter was very excited about his job- it was his first step in building a career for himself after graduating from college. He had been hired as an assistant manager for a retail chain and he could hardly contain his enthusiasm.
The reason Peter called me was, although, he loved his new job, he was having a hard time with the “managing” part. He knew all of the policies, but felt very uncomfortable asking the associates in the store to follow policies or for him to take disciplinary actions when this was required. Most of the staff was at least 10 years older than him and they had been working in the store for many years. Peter was the new kid. He hated managing the staff- he didn’t want to be the bad guy, the dictator and because he would rather have everyone like him, he found it easier to do things himself than ask the staff to do them. There was one employee in particular, Larry, that frequently left the ticketing machine out where anyone could steal it. Peter’s manager had spoken to Peter several times and said he needed to toughen up and start managing Larry. As a result of all of this, Peter was concerned he might lose this job if he wasn’t able to change his thoughts and behaviors.
Since it was so important for Peter to be liked we tackled that aspect first. This was a huge part of his identity and he wasn’t going to give it up easily. Working on the reversal that “Even though I don’t want to let go of wanting to be liked, I deeply and completely love myself. Even though being liked is a huge part of my identity, and I don’t want to lose it, I deeply and completely love myself....... We then tapped on the core issue of being liked - tapping on an incident Peter remembered from his early childhood. We tapped away those fears, too, and worked on him being more assertive.
Peter went to a nine to a zero for all of the different aspects regarding the issue of being afraid to manage others, that they won’t like him. At the end of the session, he felt very comfortable that he would be able to talk to Larry, or any of the other employees about policies and take whatever disciplinary action was necessary.
As we were getting ready to hang up, Peter noticed another benefit from tapping. Several years earlier, he had gone skiing in icy cold conditions and as a result, several of his toes were frostbitten. He hadn’t felt anything in those toes for the last few years. At the end of the session, he was starting to feel his toes. The more we talked about what had happened to him a few years ago, he realized that he hadn’t been assertive when he went on that ski trip (he didn’t want to go, and once there, didn’t stand up for himself when he had enough). Since we tapped on his lack of assertiveness, that had also been the issue during the ski trip, which had results in the frostbitten toes.
It’s always so amazing (although not surprising) when a client gets additional unexpected results from tapping. |
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