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Forgiveness Without Agenda |
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“Forgiveness Without Agenda”
© By Shelley Hawkins-Clark, Transformational Healer & Coach
“In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option…Take it slowly. The deepest resentments are wrapped up in a lot of hurt and pain. We think we're protecting ourselves by not forgiving. Acknowledge that and go easy on yourself…Forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging tool that will support and honor you, even in the most extreme circumstances…The incoherence that results from holding on to resentments and unforgiving attitudes keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It can block you from your next level of quality life experience.” ~Doc Childre & Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution
“Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with Truth.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“Only after we can learn to forgive ourselves can we accept others as they are because we don't feel threatened by anything about them which is better than us.” ~Stephen Covey
A few years ago I was listening to an interview with Reverend Michael Beckwith about the movie, The Secret. As one of the participants in the movie, which was focused on creating abundance, people were asking him questions about creating financial abundance and paying off debt. He remarked that “debt is a function of unforgiveness.” I contemplated this idea and it’s meaning for my life. What was I still paying “in arrears,” as a financial expert might say? Or what was I still giving my energy to that may be keeping me from moving forward?
My mind went immediately to a debt that my husband and I had been paying off for some time. It represented a period in our life that we felt was forgiven, yet the financial debt reminder was still hanging around. Something was obviously unfinished. We set our sites on total freedom, realizing it was something like a ship anchored a ways off shore, with land and sea in site, but unable to set sail or come in to fuel up. The remaining debt was the anchor.
Using energy clearing and manifestation tools, we cleared the beliefs and energy in the way of that financial freedom. As the money came in and we paid off the debt within a couple months, a few unfinished threads of the issues that took place during that time of our life also showed themselves. Now the debt is gone, complete; and with it, the period of life it represented.
Because forgiveness has historically been intertwined as a necessary part of healing, very well meaning people have often put the focus of healing on the forgiveness itself. In a recent conversation with a spiritual healer, she commented that she instructs her clients they’ve got to forgive because it’s the only way to heal.
The point of healing is the internal transformation that takes place between illness and health, confusion and clarity, lack and abundance, sadness and joy, unforgiveness and forgiveness. Once again, it is not the “arrival” that is to be our focus, but who we become and the truth we discover about ourselves along the way. Putting the focus of healing on our own freedom and letting go of the supposed tos of forgiveness attached through the ages can be transformative. Ironically, as this takes place, we begin to release ourselves from the guilt, shame, unsafety and other feelings that prevent forgiveness.
Clients do not usually come to me with a primary motivation to forgive others. More often than not, they can’t or even refuse to forgive or it’s the furthest thing from their mind. What moves them to heal is an increasing desire to be free, to change a relationship, heal from an illness, increase their wealth, heal from abuse or grief, accomplish their goals, or reduce their stress.
An agenda of forgiveness does more to hinder the process of healing than foster it.. The emotions a person has about any particular situation or problem in their life are essential to their path to healing. Their unforgiveness actually serves a practical function. It serves as a feeling of safety, familiarity, an ongoing desire for something they can’t get from the desired source and protection to keep the same thing from happening again. Though it is not actually protective, that’s not the point. The anchor to the past serves as a safety mechanism until they can trust themselves to let go and set sail for shores yet unseen.
Unforgiveness works much like a financial debt, it is something that is incomplete and for which we are still paying in arrears, however subtly. We continue to pay in arrears until we feel dissatisfied putting our energy in that direction and the burning desire for freedom becomes more powerful than the feeling of safety gained from holding on to the old shore. Using energy therapies, such as Intuitive Healing & Meridian Tapping, to assist this process, forgiveness rises rather organically out of the ashes along with new personal strength, safety and most certainly…freedom—without need for an agenda. |
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