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I've been doing EFT for a few years with different clients and so far I've
had great results. We always make headway and I'm always amazed by
EFT's ability to heal and change people's perspectives on any number of
emotional issues.
However, a few weeks ago I started doing phone work with a client I've
never met (this is my first time working with a client that I haven't met in
person) and on a physical pain issue (I do not have an enormous amount
of experience with complex physical pain issues). He's a pretty down to
Earth/traditional man who knows very little about energy therapies or energy theories but he has a friend who does EFT and he's been
reading Gary's newsletter so he was more than willing to give it a
try... with an open mind and high hopes.
For the first session, we worked from a purely physical point of view
(Chasing the Pain - please see Emofree.com for a detailed explanation
of the procedure) and went from a 9/10 on his pain issue to a 3/4 on
the 0 to 10 scale. We were both quite pleased with that but when I spoke to him the
next time he told me that that had all evaporated when he awoke the next
morning to his usual pain.
During the second session, we worked on some emotional issues and, though
he felt noticably relaxed at the end, as his pain had not lessened perceptibly, his response was basically APEX (again, see emofree.com for an
explanation of this phenomenon): "Well, I feel better because I've
never talked about this stuff with anyone before and it helps to let it out, I guess".
Before beginning our third and possibly last session (he had booked and
paid for 3), I realized that I was not feeling at all confident that I
could help. I had many questions for him, many techniques and many possible
things to try but I felt time pressured and that I hadn't given him
enough reasons to stick it out and keep trying. I felt I had not shown him
"the money", so to speak, and I was feeling uncomfortable about a number of things, so I
tapped to "get myself out of the way":
Even though I feel I shouldn't be taking his money because he's getting
no results [this is not completely true, he was feeling less tightness
and more relaxed in general but I believed that wasn't the result he was looking
for], I completely love and accept myself.
Even though I'm not giving him a good impression of EFT and he's going
to go off and tell his friends it's all a bunch of hooey so I'm giving
EFT a bad reputation,
I completely love and accept myself.
Even though I'm incompetent and EFT will suffer and Gary will be horrified,
I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder phrases (many rounds in a row): I shouldn't be allowed to take
his money, he's had no results, he's not recognizing the good results,
I'm making EFT look bad, I'm ruining EFT's reputation, Gary would be horrified, I'm one of the people Gary wouldn't want doing EFT, I'm incompetent,
I'm useless, I don't know how to deal with complex physical issues, I can't
read his face, it all feels out of control, I feel guilty that he's
paid me, he's going to give EFT bad press, he's too difficult to work
with, I can't work with emotionally dissociated people, we don't have enough time in one session to have a real change, he won't want any more sessions, he'll never attribute it to EFT, he'll always think it's something else.
I did quite a few rounds as I really wanted to be emotionally
unencumbered for our last call. Thankfully (as usual), the tapping worked really well because
when he called I felt calm and clear about just doing the work. My ego
was no longer jumping up and down and yelling out negative comments every five minutes.
I'm quite sure that if I had gone into the session with my earlier
emotional state of guilt and lack of self-confidence (it was all about
me and EFT) instead of the serenity with which I did approach it (the
client became my no. 1 focus), that I would
never have been as effective and he would have ended the sessions right
there. As it was, I was able to give my best and to remain open to both
the client and my intuition. The client apparently felt there was
benefit to the work as he has said that he would like to continue.
The message to me was this (and this has been repeated by many before now): clear yourself of your own emotional stuff
if you want to help others in the best way you are able. Maybe this
reminder can help some of you help others also. In other words, tap yourself clean! :)
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