Hi all,

I was sitting quite happily at work doing some personal stuff on the computer when I realized that I was feeling a bit guilty. Things are quite slow lately with loads of time to do my work and then do some personal stuff.

As I analyzed it logically, I felt that I should know myself by now, know that I am not a “slacker”, that when there’s work to be done, I do it, but when there isn’t any I can’t invent it so I can allow myself to do other things. I know this logically but apparently not emotionally so I began to tap:

Even though I feel guilty that I’m doing my own personal stuff and getting paid for it, I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder phrases: I feel guilty. I’m doing my own stuff. My boss is paying me for it.

Even though it’s wrong to do your own stuff when there’s always SOME work to do, I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder phrases: It’s wrong. There’s always something. You could invent something. There’s always something.

Even though you can’t be paid to simply be a competent presence in the office, I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder phrases: You can’t just sit there and be paid. You can’t just sit there, do something.

Even though someone has to answer the phone and propose knowledgeable solutions, they don’t need to pay your salary for that.
Reminder phrases: They could find someone cheaper to just sit there. No one wants to pay you that salary to just sit there. You can’t just sit there and do your own stuff and get paid. What are you, the Queen?

As I tapped on this one, I became aware that I had intuitively gone off on a different track: the “you can’t do something you enjoy and get paid for it” track (because I was enjoying myself, sitting there, doing things I wanted to do and getting paid for it) so I continued, just tapping through the points and letting “the issue” speak:

Who do you think you are?
Do you think you’re better than everyone else?
Why shouldn’t everyone get paid to do what they want?
Why are you so special?
If it was possible, everyone would do it.
It isn’t possible.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
Just get a job and shut up about it.
Life isn’t a barrel of monkeys, you know.
You gotta pay the bills.
Just take what you get and be glad for it.

I realized no one had ever actually said these exact words to me but as I tapped through them I recognized that my father’s point of view on employment stands somewhere in this realm. I had apparently ingested these ideas whether they were spoken to me directly, said to someone else, said about someone else or simply implied through assorted comments he had made over the years. So, there it was, as Gary says… the writing on my walls. Thanks, Dad... not. :P

Anyway, it felt good to let those things go and to enjoy the downtime at work. When it picks up again I may have to tap to enjoy that, too.

Keep digging and tapping, everyone!