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Lately, I have decided to work on my abundance/prosperity issues
regarding my work but more specifically in relation to expanding my
monetary wealth in general, feeling more comfortable having more money
to do and buy more things for myself (when I stop writing this, I'll
need to tap on feeling embarrassed about admitting that I "so
selfishly" want more for myself but for now I'll continue explaining what
happened last night).
I know that I have hidden issues in the areas of wealth and abundance
because, if I didn't, I would simply have more than the "just enough"
amount that presently lives in my bank account and in my life in general. I always have
"just enough" to pay the rent, "just enough" to pay for my gas and my
food. In fact, bizarrely enough, it's always "just enough", no matter what I do.
If I dare to go on vacation, always believing that it's a huge expense and I can
barely afford it, the hole in my bank account fills up
effortlessly and I barely notice the money missing but if I ever dared to plan another vacation within a short period of time my belief remains the same, that I have only
barely enough and I can't afford the extravagance of a
vacation.
Even though the money spent is not even noticeably gone from my account and
certainly won't stop me from paying the bills, I live with this feeling
of tightness, of the edge always being near. I never believe that I will always have enough even though time and again no matter what happens to me, I always have had.
I have decided I want to work on that.
To do so, I am using a visualization during my meditation which allows
the negative, limiting beliefs to surface so that I can become aware of their existence and tap on them.
The image for my meditation is one of a river in a beautiful setting and the river is
full of gems and coins. The source is never ending. As you remove the gems and coins, so
they are replaced by the flow from "the source". I have access to everything
in the river, as much as I want in theory.
For my meditation, I picture myself by the river and I
note my actions, my feelings about my actions, I note the actions of
other people at the river and what I think and feel about those as well.
Here is a sample of what came up last night and how I tapped on it,
keeping in mind that this is not the first time I have "visited" this
river in my mind and that I have already worked on some previous issues
(the first one I addressed a few months back was that I felt
that I actually had to steal what was in the river! I was told I had
full access to it, that it belonged to me to do with as I wish but I
did not believe it and felt that I had to steal little bits here and
little bits there - like Eddie Murphy in "Trading Places" when he is first
given his rich life and he walks around slipping precious little objects from his own house into his pockets).
Last night, as I lay on the grass by the river (in my meditation), I
noticed a woman who came up to the edge of the water on the other side
(it's not very wide). She had a pail and she dipped it in and pulled it
up full of gems and coins. She smiled at me openly and turned to go. I wanted to look
away, embarrassed for her, uncomfortable, not exactly sure why but
something to do with "Surely she didn't want me to see her taking all
that "money"!", so I tried to avert my eyes... then I mentally tapped
(not with my fingers, only with my mind) on this first issue:
Even though I feel so embarrassed for her, I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder/intuitive phrases: How embarrassing, I'm embarrassed, I'll look away, I feel uncomfortable.
It took me two or three rounds tapping mentally (it might have gone
more quickly if I had physically tapped but I want to disturb my meditation with movement) but
finally that first veil lifted and I saw that underneath was the belief
that she was being greedy, that's why I felt it was embarrassing for
her to have been caught being so openly greedy in public. Greed is a
dirty little thing that, should we happen to have it, we all "should" try to hide it, or so I believed.
Even though she's being greedy, I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder/intuitive phrases: She's being so greedy, that whole bucket full, she's not even embarrassed, she should be, how greedy of her.
Even though it's not okay to take a bucket full for yourself, I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder/intuitive phrases: A whole bucket, it's too much, don't exaggerate, you don't need a bucket full.
When I tapped on the last phrase, a memory came up of a specific event
in my life where I wasn't greedy in a certain situation (I would never
have DARED to be, of course) but I FELT that some other people had been
greedy and the "source", at the time, had been cut off. In my
perception, at the time it happened, the source had been cut off
BECAUSE those people had been, in my opinion, greedy but now I see that
it was cut off for other reasons that what I was able to perceive given my beliefs at that time.
Anyway, when the memory came up I
tapped on it:
Even though I believe that the source will cut you off if you take more than what you need, I completely love and accept myself.
Reminder/intuitive phrases: Don't be greedy, only take what you need, not
what you want, the source will get angry, it will cut you off.
I tapped on a few more details of the event and I believe I have cleared the
residual feelings of distrust about the source "lying" about what it is
willing to provide or not and for what reasons.
I don't think I'm done
visiting the river just yet because every time I go there I learn new
things about my beliefs regarding money and wealth of any kind. I find
it fascinating the beliefs we have buried inside of us and of which we
have no conscious knowledge. I enjoy digging them up and questioning
them and tapping them into oblivion when necessary.
Enjoy the exploration of yourself and your negative beliefs around
abundance, prosperity, wealth, whatever you wish to call it using this
simple tool: a quiet moment and a river full of coins and gems that
just keep coming. If you happen to see a dry river bed or a dam... tap on that!
Have a good week!
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