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In light of an event in my life this week, I felt the need to clarify something in case I haven't done so previously. The stories that I write in my blog are only some of the problems that I have solved using EFT.
For my blog, I specifically choose those that are resolved over a fairly short time span and which don't take too much digging. This by no means implies that I never have those types of problems nor that I manage to solve ALL my issues with a few quickie lines of EFT.
I do use EFT, for almost all my life's challenges now. It's the best tool I have come across and it works almost across the board but some of the issues would simply take to long to describe if I went through them line by line. Some issues are very complex and take a longer time to work through. Also, many times, I cannot remember what I said because I do it in the "heat of the moment" and whatever I happen to be saying is what I'm tapping on.
I just needed to make that more clear for anyone to whom it might seem that I don't have any bigger, deeper or more difficult issues to deal with. That is simply not the case. We ALL come here with our own personal baggage and I assure you my steamer trunks used to be quite large. Thanks to EFT, I have been able, over the past few years, to reduce their size and their weight by a very considerable amount and for that I am very grateful to Gary Craig and others who help to spread the Energy Psychology "word" around the globe, but I still have enough issues to keep me busy.
In fact, this week what prompted me to make the above statements is that one more aspect (I have dealt with a few already) of an old, multi-layered issue of mine came up during what originally seemed to be a very "normal" moment with my partner. To describe a healing moment that took almost 20 minutes to experience would no doubt take much longer to write and to explain in a comprehensive manner. It would then no longer be a blog-length endeavour but one of many pages and this is not the place.
This being said, I can describe the gist of it and of the hightlight healing moments.
I was doing something that seemed very normal to me. My partner suggested I use caution as what I was doing could be toxic. I poopooed what he was saying and, as he insisted I be careful, I got more and more angry and he pointed out that I was "in issue", as we call it, and he finally left the room. I stayed behind, livid!
As I tapped on my anger I realized that what had come up was a resentment about what I perceived as someone else "putting their fears on me". This had happened to me all my life and I felt that it had never served me, only harmed me, made me fearful myself and made it difficult for me to see situations through the veil of fear and to make decisions based on clear ideas.
There were no set-up phrases only continual tapping while I talked to myself about what I was going through:
"I'm so f*&^ing tired of people putting their fears on me!"
"It's NEVER helped me, only hurt me."
"Natural intelligence, knowledge and some reasonable caution would have served me so much better."
"Fear has stopped me from doing so many things!"
"I've been terrified all my life for no f*&^ing reason."
"No one will EVER put their f*&^ing fear on me again."
"I've had enough!"
"I won't take any more!"
"They can keep their fears to themselves!"
...and on for quite some time.
As I tapped away the anger, the frustration and the sadness (which really belonged to previous people and previous situations), I uncovered what was underneath, which was my respect for my partner, his intelligence and his knowledge.
I realized that if he was telling me that what I was doing could be toxic, very likely it could be and I would be wise to listen to what he was saying.
So that calmed me down but I still couldn't join him in the living room because now I had realized that I WAS in issue and he was not to blame. My "I will NOT apologize" issue was now keeping me in the other room. I seemed to have the need to be "right", as so many of us do,... and I simply wasn't and that galled me to no end.
Even if what I had been doing wasn't as toxic as he said, I still didn't need to jump all over him about it (I had reacted to past issues, not to the present situation). There was no getting around that, so I tapped on the "shame" of being "wrong" and the anger at having to apologize (if only every little kid had this tool when they have to say their sorry to another kid for something!).
This situation was not a 1-minute wonder and there are probably still some unchartered layers to this "anti-fear" issue but I released a good deal of it and all the shame and anger about being "wrong". That allowed me to go back to my partner and apologize from my heart and to explain to him what I was really reacting to. He understood my situation and also apologized for his part.
That openness of communication allowed us to bond and discuss it and to go to bed in peace with our hearts open and accepting of each other and our issues and ... we lived happily ever after... at least until the next time one of us has an old issue that rears its ugly head.
It won't matter, though, because we have EFT. :)
Have a great week! |
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