Occasionally even I run into a client that is so invested, in telling their story to

anyone who will listen, blaming others while under the guise of “I really want to change”. What they really mean is as long as I do not have to give up my story.  Where can we go with that?

Often what we uncover through tapping is that, in keeping their story alive, it motivates them to remember how unsafe the other people in their story are. Keeping that story alive is an important vigil and their first line of defense. Being ever vigilant is so wearing on a person.

That motivation keeps their boundaries in place. One fear is that forgiveness will soften the boundaries with these people and they will be vulnerable to being hurt once again. Another fear is if they own any responsibility for their part in the story, their hearts will soften and they will allow their boundary to erode.

I always start with asking the client “what is keeping your story alive really costing you”?  In keeping the story alive they may feel protected against further hurt. When a client is asked to examine on how many other levels this may be hurting them, things start to come into focus for them. The cost of carrying that much unresolved emotion around causes havoc on both the mind and body. The spirit can only live without peace of mind for so long until things begin to unravel, and then that’s when I get a call, for help.

In addressing “what this is truly costing them”, along with installing good boundaries that give them some sense of power and safety. Learning and tapping in empowering life skills gives the client the confidence to stay present and get to the deeper layers.

We may also tap on punishing, being right vs being happy or forgiving even if the client decides to end their relationships with the people in their story.  I honor that they may not feel ready to forgive now or ever. We tap on forgiveness being a choice and if they should choose to forgive on their terms, at a safe comfortable pace for them.

I notice the story ends or has a clean page to write new and healthier chapters on. Blessings Karen. Visit me at www.eftkarenhayes.com