It is the “unknown” which causes the “fear.”   The more unknowns that arise the more distress we feel (more fear).   “Things will turn out ok.”  They may not be what we WANT them to be, but the end result of situations and relationships will be “just as they are meant to be” in the course of our destiny.   It is the hope and the pre-determined expectations of desired outcomes that move us into the “fear of the unknowns”. Once we arrive at these feared thoughts we then start behaving in ways that will cause us to find some type of pleasure or ease from distress.  (F.E.A.R. = False Expectations Appearing Real)

 We naturally and intrinsically seek pleasures, even when these pleasures seem to be negative, they are often more pleasurable then experiencing the “fear.”  We create certain ideas or beliefs that are used as our “defense mechanisms.”  It is more pleasurable for us to have these limiting beliefs then it is for us to actually experience that which we fear.  Make sense?   The truth is that “nothing is as bad as the fear we experience prior to the actual event.”  We always get through those events and are ok, in spite of that which we fear about them. We then usually find out that even though the events or outcomes are not desirable, they are tolerable and we do survive them. The question which remains is whether we perceive them as learning opportunities or as damage. When they are perceived as damage, we then create “collateral damage” to ourselves as a result of our negative perceptions.  

 When something goes a different way then we expect, don’t ask yourself what you did wrong, don’t tell yourself you can’t or you failed. Look at it as an event only and tell yourself “that technique didn’t work and you can do it, but must use a different or new technique. Therefore reframing this end result eliminates the false idea that we are limited in anything. I hope this makes sense to you.

  Anyway, it is quite ironic that I know certain reasons for such behavior and beliefs, but at times, it’s difficult for me to do what I know. I also know why I have difficulty, but I am moving forward in changing and am resisting going back to the status quo of my unconscious mind, old behaviors and old limiting beliefs. I do this thru positive self programming and resistance to the old negative programming which I learned through other people’s opinions and other people’s beliefs. In conclusion, I am doing my best to let go of my expectations in relation to undesirable events or relationships in my life.  I am only causing more distress on myself through my fears……………so I MUST change those simple “thoughts/fears”, change my imagination as create healthy imagination (thoughts).

 There is nothing I can do or say to bring someone love me, nothing I can do or say to create a desired outcome of an event, I can only control MY imagination, MY thoughts, MY perceptions about life.

I choose to create healthy, positive opportunity for myself through all that occurs in my life.

Will you also choose this? 

Carol